Well it is Day 10 in my “Try Looking At It Through My Eyes” Challenge.
And today’s challenge is a tough one for me personally…
Day Ten – “The Time Machine” If you could go back and watch one day of your life, what day would it be, why and what do you expect to see?
As an avid reader H.G.Wells was one of the authors I would read a lot as a younger person and his work “The Time Machine” quite possibly motivated this particular challenge. Although it could quite as easily have been the likes of Hofstadter, Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Cooper et al, from The Big Bang Theory LOL.
When writing these challenges and including this one in them I honestly had no predefined personal reason for doing so. Consequently I really don’t have any great and wonderful event in my life in mind.
Right up there would have to be the birth of my son Matthew. It was a wonderful thing and one that truly did fill me with awe. But if I could choose one day, would that be the day? My wedding day, although my marriage subsequently ended, is of course a consideration, but again would I choose it over others?
Part of me would want to choose the day I gave my life to Christ. And yet the night before this day, just as the night before my wedding, was just as momentous in my life.
For purely personal reasons I would perhaps choose a day in my early childhood. One thing that I have written about a number of times previously has been how I have no recollection of my early years. I have had poor mental health for as much of my life as I can remember and as a result of having no recollection of my early years, I have no knowledge whether my poor relationship with my father resulted from my poor mental health or if my poor mental health resulted from my poor relationship with my father.
But there within I have a problem. Since I have no recollection of my early years I have no idea what day to choose.
There are of course times, days in my life, when I did things that I am particularly regretful of. Times when I have hurt folk and not only those folk that I love.
I was in many ways, despite appearances to the contrary, a fairly troubled teen and young adult and I got into all sorts of trouble and, being on drugs as a young man, often did things that I later regretted greatly.
But I have to be mindful of the wording of the challenge here. It says “If you could go back and watch one day of your life, what day would it be, why and what do you expect to see?” What it doesn’t say is “if you could go back and change one day in your life.”
So this presents me with a difficulty. If I am unable to change anything, in the going back, and since I could not choose one day over another, and have no recollection of my early years – which is the period of time which most interests me – would I truly wish to revisit any one day over the others?
And here the answer would have to be no.
The past is the past unless you let it infiltrate and effect the present or the future. It has, in my opinion, benefits only where those benefits are gleaned and where the negatives are not allowed to consume.
This morning (well yesterday morning now since it is now 5.14 Monday morning) after church I had a conversation with a brother whom I truly am growing to respect and who is already dear to my heart, He like me has battles with his mental health and I truly enjoy his company and our conversations.
As a result of this morning’s conversation he rang me this evening and shared three verses with me which were relevant not only to that conversation but also to this piece – thank you Lord.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
2 Corinthians 4:17
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
God is so gracious isn’t He? He is an on-time God and I am so grateful to Him and to my brother for these scriptures and for the encouragements that they bring.
and one more scripture comes to my mind…
2 Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Are there things in my life for which I am sorry and regretful or remorseful over? Yes indeed there are BUT I have given them over to Christ for His glory and I refuse to give the enemy a foothold in them.
Would I choose to return to any day from my past were I able to? Only if God wanted me to and that would require no time machine.