Firstly I would like to say a huge thank you to all those who sent me comments and messages of support in response to my last post “Anxious Anticipation“. It really does mean so very much to me and it is that kind of support and encouragement that I passionately believe it so essential within the mental health blogging community and on of the reasons why I am so passionate about the Mental Health Writers Guild.
Such was my anticipation about my regular hospital visit today that actually I ended up not being able to sleep until about 4 – 4.30am and then had to get up at 6am in order to shower and prepare for the trip up country to the hospital I attend just outside Dublin.
So as I am sure you can understand I was pretty shattered by the time we left. But the positive side of that was that I was able to doze pretty much for most of the journey and this made both the journey pass relatively quickly and gave less time for my anxiety over it all.
That having been said, the pure logistics of transport meant that I arrived a few hours before my appointment and so I decided to spend some of it writing a poem about morbid obesity. Some of you may be aware that I have a love of poetry and it is something I have been wanting to get back into writing.
I did indeed write the poem (entitled ‘Downsized Shell’) and have just posted it on my poetry blog “Deep From Within” and if you are interested in reading or listening to that poem (there is a streamable audio recording of it that you can play) you can find it here.
Having written the poem and whilst waiting for my appointment I met and had a really nice time chatting with another guy who had morbid obesity and who had also arrived long before his appointment. And in fact he lives not far from me and it was great to spend time with him and his son and to share experiences, challenges, obstacles and coping techniques in our respective fights for better health.
But then came the moment of truth – my appointment and that all important anxiety inducing weigh-in. This is such a big thing for me what with all of my health and especially my heart problems and as you know I have written before about how depression and mental illness can affect our body-sizes and self-esteem issues.
As part of the treatment for my morbid obesity I see a team of specialists – physiotherapist, dietitian, psychologist, and doctors and today it was the physiotherapist that I saw first and who supervised my weigh in.
I was so nervous. Yes I have made a great deal of very radical changes and put a lot of effort in since my last appointment but I have also been in bed with flu for most of the past two weeks and I was worried that what efforts I had made had all been undone by the past two weeks worth of illness and thus limited activity.
BUT I needn’t have worried. My weigh-in was done and in fact (due to the result double checked) and I have lost 6 Kilos!
6 Kilos! That is 13 lb and 3.64 oz (in old money) which being as there are 14 lbs to a stone and seeing as I was weighed wearing a heavy hoodie this time but not wearing one last time means I have lost a stone in weight!
I was staggered and the team were delighted! Especially when the physio handed me the equivalent weight in dumbbells to hold so that I could visualize just how heavy that was and it dawned on me that it was the equivalent weight of of 6 regular bags of sugar in the UK.
So I am so very encouraged and quite upbeat this evening. Totally exhausted as a result of being out all day and all of that travelling but very upbeat and very grateful for the support and encouragement I have received. More importantly (and I do not by that mean to downplay the support and encouragement I have received) I am re-motivated.
So I wanted to share that with you all before turning in for the night and trying to rest.
Again thank you so much for your support and encouragement and your prayers.